NESTOR. Do as I have ordered. Let these letters be written quickly. I am going from here to Caesar. If there is any need, I shall soon return here. But look, here is Caesar. Hello, Caesar, you return quickly. Just now I was wishing to go to you.
JULIAN. Would that you had been with me, Nestor.
NESTOR. Why so?
JULIAN. You would certainly have heard of things unheard for many centuries.
NESTOR. Bad news, perhaps? For I see that you are somewhat sad.
JULIAN. Not quite good news.
NESTOR. What did Pammachius say? Is he healthy?
JULIAN. Yes, he is healthy, but in the worst way.
NESTOR. Then is he sick?
JULIAN. Not in body, but in mind; he is not completely well.
NESTOR. What do you mean? He is usually very healthy.
JULIAN. I don't know what has turned the man's mind so badly without consulting the auspices. Today I left my home that his arrogance to me might become known.
NESTOR. I am afraid of what you may say.
JULIAN. I brought peace and I wanted the bishops honoured in all things suitable to their status, especially Pammachius, through whom we were converted to the faith.
NESTOR. I know.
JULIAN. But he demands to be given the treasures of Croesus.
NESTOR. Greedily enough.
JULIAN. He aspires to dominion over our city and rule over Italy.
NESTOR. What am I hearing? He is aspiring ambitiously enough.
JULIAN. He says that the whole empire shall be his.
NESTOR. Arrogantly enough.
JULIAN. And afterwards the emperors must be appointed by him.
NESTOR. Ignorantly enough.
JULIAN. He says that the Apostles and all the first bishops were both naive and ignorant of all things because, being content with the gift of teaching, they did not take away their empires from any of the kings.
NESTOR. Impiously enough.
JULIAN. For this he claims that he has the authority of the scriptures and that Christ has handed it down.
NESTOR. Falsely enough--this I should know, because it has been said by your indulgence, Caesar. What god, I ask you, has put such ideas into his mind? What will you do? Will you make them such concessions by which the majesty of your empire is lessened?
JULIAN. If I do not make these concessions he has made dire threats.
NESTOR. Shamelessly enough. Yet I do not see what trouble his threats can cause you. Therefore scorn them and be of calm mind. Before this it was unheard of that bishops threatened Caesar; even though they addressed the emperor with the gentlest words, they had to fear danger to their lives.
JULIAN. You speak the truth, and even now they would not do this with impunity, if their insanity were not to be tolerated in some way because of the faith. And if I did not wish to show that I was grateful, he would soon know into what great depths it profited him to hurl stones and to strive with those stronger than he, and how rarely such actions bring good endings.
NESTOR. Something must be given to the bishops, and perhaps after a short while he will change his opinion.
JULIAN. If he does not change, he will learn how Caesar is wont to deal with such vicious endeavours.
NESTOR. I wonder by whose suggestions he thinks up these demands, or does he think that the leaders of the kingdom are so empty-headed that, even though you wished greatly to give him what he demands, they would allow such concessions to be given to him?
JULIAN. What does not unbridled arrogance promise itself, Nestor! What does it not attack! To what place does it not go! Besides, he has Porphyrius, who is intimate with him in his plans, a learned man equally wicked. I think that Pammachius is very strongly urged on by Porphyrius. Nay, generally human nature is such that it is prone to evil even though no one else is urging it on. Truly the seeds of evil are inherent in our nature. If you do not resist and crush them, it is impossible to stop them from sprouting and growing. If you stop weeding them out, the more they grow and you will have fertilized with manure the field so that they may grow. He who begins thus is at last truly evil.
NESTOR. Certainly Pammachius is thinking wicked thoughts in this situation, whether he is making up his mind by himself or through the persuasion of another. It is right, Caesar, that you take care of this, so that you may deservedly always be called Augustus and so that nothing in the public weal may be diminished through you. In some way you will be able to honour the bishops appropriately to their faith and to themselves. They are in charge of the word and the doctrine for all; they teach the unbelievers and encourage the believers, and for men labouring thus double honour should not be lacking. You in the meantime should keep your rank, for the faith does not require that you should give up your position or abandon or lessen your rule, but that you should always conduct yourself blamelessly in it.
Also all ought to notice this, whether they leave their kingdoms to their descendants whole, increased, honoured and in peace, and whether in this world they have done their duty actively without any deed which can be rightly blamed. For God demands an accounting for sins. He hates the lazy and opposes the spendthrifts, he loves the stewards who are faithful in all things. But we all follow the destiny that has been conferred on us. Then also, although you give to all whatever they ask and your princes may be angered by this, how do you know whether the same action will please your successors, or whether you will be praised for this by your heirs? For a good man there is nothing more fitting than to guard both his present and his future reputation assiduously. Liberality usually produces reputation.
Yet the spendthrift is never praised, but is laughed at and reviled by the perpetual hatred of his heirs. To give away whole cities and provinces is the mark of a spendthrift prince and of one who is not carrying out faithfully his God-given stewardship. If now you remove some cities from the empire and hand over the rule of them to the inexperienced bishops and one or two or more of your successors shall emulate this deed, what will be left, pray, of the empire? Gradually it will slip away, so that soon afterwards the Caesars will have a name without a kingdom. All the empire will fall to the bishops. In short, it will soon happen that the cart will be pulling the ox and Christ will rule no longer by his word but by the sword, a thing which once upon a time in his flight he said that he would not do.
Besides in gifts and benefits care is usually taken lest the one willing to give benefits brings disadvantage both to his own and the public situation. If you wish to benefit the bishops, do not do injury to the state. Nay, also, in this way you will not benefit the bishops. Great wealth brings great troubles. The number of their servants increase; they become puffed up and arrogant; the desire of teaching is destroyed; piety perishes. There is no better way to remove a craftsman from his craft than to make him rich, and you will not offer to the bishops a better excuse for closing their sacred books as soon as possible, than if you hand over to their rule provinces and cities. They ought to be learned men who show to the people the right way of worshipping God. But rich bishops will not teach. Therefore it hurts both the bishops themselves and all the people for the bishops to be laden down with the burden of riches. But because we are threatened, we shall have to despise them, lest you seem, on account of their threats, to be throwing away your shield. Benefit them in the way you ought and can. But if they do not accept this, let them go away and look after their own affairs. You will easily be able to protect your high office.
JULIAN. I love you, Nestor, because you advise me prudently always and especially also now, and you are not accustomed to have persons before your eyes but always simply what is right. Now you feel the same as I do. I despise their threats; I do not agree nor have I agreed to any of them. If they are not willing to accept a kind Caesar, let them bear an angry one. Perhaps they will give due, however, to a severe Caesar, though they now boorishly despise him.
PTEROPHON. Take my horse quickly, that I may go to Caesar. It is a matter of great importance and cannot support delay.
NESTOR. We have not believed in Christ that the greedy bishops may rob us of all the things which are ours.
JULIAN. Someone is knocking at the door. Nestor, see who it is.
NESTOR. It is Pterophon.
JULIAN. Let him enter. Perhaps he brings some news.
PTEROPHON. Good day, Caesar.
JULIAN. What is Pterophon saying? Why are you panting? Nay, are you wiping away the sweat first?
PTEROPHON. Caesar, I have rushed here as your speedy messenger, as the very bad events seem to demand.
JULIAN. What are you saying? Tell me good news.
PTEROPHON. I will tell you how things are. And would that I could now report that the situation is good.
JULIAN. Why are you sighing? Tell me what it is.
PTEROPHON. You are no longer Caesar.
JULIAN. What? Why not; out with it! Why are you crying?
PTEROPHON. On all the gates of the cities and on the doors of the churches notices with great seals have been fastened.
JULIAN. Who is the author of the notice?
PTEROPHON. Pammachius the bishop.
JULIAN. What does the notice say?
PTEROPHON. That you are unworthy of the high office of Caesar. JULIAN. What after that?
PTEROPHON. That you have been deposed by them and condemned to Hell by the apostolic authority.
JULIAN. Indeed, Nestor. Then also I remember a certain Roman stratagem. Let me perish, if this is not a stratagem.
NESTOR. What outstanding effrontery! I don't know what to say.
JULIAN. Hem. I told you of their threats.
NESTOR. You have read this document, Pterophon?
PTEROPHON. I've read it and reread it carefully that I might report these actions quite accurately.
NESTOR. Whose authority does it choose, I ask you?
PTEROPHON. That of Peter and Paul.
NESTOR. They did not depose any Caesar when they were alive, and now when dead they depose our Caesar?
JULIAN. Nestor, don't you think that such treacherous attacks must be healed by force of arms?
NESTOR. Yes, Caesar, and unless you attack them as soon as possible, that impudence of theirs will increase more and more every day. It is known that sometimes the trees fall after their leaves. Bishops must never be so revered that at last they may strive to overthrow even emperors.
PTEROPHON. Listen to the rest.
JULIAN. Is there anything further?
PTEROPHON. There is. At the beginning of all meetings that letter is being crudely expounded to the people. They condemn you; they curse you; they shout against you, that as soon as possible you must be delivered up to the three-headed Cerberus.
JULIAN. Whew! Is there so much evil? O, poor me. What is my great sin that they stir such a tragedy against me?
PTEROPHON. I do not know, Caesar, unless it is because the pot- bellied leaders of these assemblies say that you possess the patrimony of Peter and so are impious because you refuse to restore it.
JULIAN. What impudence! What patrimony do these scoundrels tell of? Do I possess anything which is or ever was the property of Peter?
NESTOR. By God, this is great insanity, Caesar.
PTEROPHON. They say that a letter put out by a certain Caesar, Constantine, shows by name the property which belongs to Peter's patrimony--certainly almost infinite wealth.
JULIAN. By God and the faith of men, what malice is this? They also dare to bring forward a forged letter? They are itinerant jugglers, not learned men, by God. But what does it mean? Surely the people do not believe such stories?
PTEROPHON. Yes, they put great belief in men as worthy and learned as these, who say that Pammachius is infallible.
JULIAN. Bah. They are men equally villainous and impious. He is infallible? Surely this is great error: to seize the rule and commit treason must not be tolerated, but must be destroyed by bloodshed.
PTEROPHON. Besides they set free all those subjects of yours and announce that the pledges given to you are void.
JULIAN. And are they willing to give obedience to these villains?
PTEROPHON. Such is their madness. Now you could see the
princes conspiring, the states' citizens muttering, that there is no one who dares to defend your side. And councils are being held clearly about your life. Many wish to pluck your honours and rejoice that a place has been given where they can freely both plunder and attack whatsoever they wish. In short, all your subjects are defecting from you, they proclaim another as Caesar, who with his army in the first place will attack you and all your followers; for this the Father has given wide indulgences. Caesar, this is being done. Do you take counsel for what you should do.
JULIAN. Alas, Pterophon, you are now a messenger of bad news. You report ill-omened, fearful, sudden evils. But go away. I myself will see what must be done. How unfortunate, unlucky and lost I am. It is all over. God has granted it should come to this state of affairs. O my Nestor, you hear this bad news? What do we do now?
NESTOR. Do not weep! In bad times good counsel is needed. Be of an unconquerable mind! This injustice must be driven away by war. I am going to conscript the soldiers to fight against these mutineers with all our strength. By God, it is better to die than to bear this marked insult, which would lead to the everlasting dishonour of your majesty, to contempt for the dignity of the Empire. O those ungrateful and treacherous bishops! Are you submitting to this? Are you patching up these quarrels?
JULIAN. Stay, Nestor.
NESTOR. Why should I remain?
JULIAN. Alas, you are doing something already done. Soldiers cannot be conscripted. Suggest something else.
NESTOR. What am I to advise? Lengthy consultation is of no benefit. You're finished unless we bring help to the situation as soon as possible. Procrastination in time of danger is an evil.
JULIAN. What soldiers will you conscript? My enemies? Or those who curse me? Or those who think that we are all lost? Soldiers who have broken their faith? Who clamour that another Caesar should be given to them? O utterly desperate and lost is our cause.
NESTOR. You should not think this, Caesar. In my opinion, all do not have the same feeling against you.
JULIAN. Ah, Nestor, you are mistaken. To the unlucky a friend is very rare. Life itself hates those in distress. All my wisdom has been taken from me in this sudden evil. Whither am I to turn? Whom shall I in my misery call upon when the seeds of madness have undermined them thus?
NESTOR. Do not strike yourself, I beg you. If it does not please you to marshal an army and to defend the state by arms, another course remains by which the situation, disturbed and totally lost, could be saved.
JULIAN. What is that? Please bring it out into the open, I beg you.
NESTOR. It is most dishonourable, and your dignity does not allow it, and I should wish that you would not put up with any such indignity.
JULIAN. What is it? Tell me how there is even one way to safety! I am now clearly, as the proverb says, moving between the hammer and the anvil. See to it that I am rescued, I beseech you.
NESTOR. I am not thinking of your interest, Caesar, although it would be profitable. Nay, it is much more profitable to try the worst.
JULIAN. Why are you turning your back? Why don't you say what it is?
NESTOR. If Pammachius, the head of the mob, were to be placated, I don't doubt that this mob would also quieten down.
JULIAN. This advice pleases me. Let us go therefore, Nestor.
NESTOR. Alas, why did I not keep silence at first? What are you doing? I do not advise this action.
JULIAN. At this point of things nothing better can be done.
NESTOR. Ah, it is not worthy of you, Caesar. Look at what you're doing.
JULIAN. Surely you do not think it worthy that I should be crushed by the army, robbed of all my honour and betrayed, and that others should reign in my place, while I languish miserably in prison?
NESTOR. True. But the arrogance of the poor is great when they see kings begging as suppliants. Those men write the harshest peace terms which it would be better to die than to tolerate.
JULIAN. If I do not tolerate them, as far as I now understand the Roman scheme, Nestor, another, put in my place, will willingly tolerate them. I prefer to lose the half rather than the whole. The present circumstances do not allow otherwise, and I do not know any other present plan, Nestor, which can heal my situation. What is your opinion?
NESTOR. You are thinking this through prudently. But I am afraid that under these circumstances the distinction of our ancient empire cannot endure.
JULIAN. If anything is lost from the empire, Nestor, you see well enough that it is done against my will and at the instigation of the princes who, while I am watching over the affairs of state, force me by their army to yield to a different opinion.
NESTOR. It is true. Bah, may God curse Pammachius, who is mingling heaven with earth and the sea with heaven and at last all the time is always breaking out into such lengths of boldness that he harasses all kings and princes and prevents subjects from obeying their masters.
JULIAN. Those problems will one day find their own solution, Nestor. Certainly an extraordinary necessity, which always rules all mortals, drives me to this decision, that I should do what I resolved I never would do. Let him who is the head of those things pay the price. Follow me, Nestor, and ask for peace for us from him; when he was formerly wretched I brought him peace and, despised as he was, honoured him with great honours. But as soon as I felt pity for him, his gratitude disappeared.
TRUTH. Throw your bundles into this corner on the right, Free Speech. Let us yield grudgingly to Satan's kingdom, because today we are being ejected from the lands as far as possible, even though we've always promoted things advantageous to men. Ah, how much I'd like to know what in the meantime will be done among men, when they realize that I have departed from the areas where they study what should be researched and whether there is anyone who misses Truth.
FREE SPEECH. After a short while, mistress, they will find out by experience what benefits our presence gave in all things.
TRUTH. What if you again come back to the earth, Free Speech, and exist in the world silently.
FREE SPEECH. I will do so, if you order it.
TRUTH. You would report to me so that I should know what is being done.
FREE SPEECH. Right.
TRUTH. But be present only. Not even a word.
FREE SPEECH. I shall scarce be able to keep quiet.
TRUTH. See to it that you are able. I certainly think this is the safe course, especially in the realm of Satan, to listen to each thing and to see the good as well as the bad and not to argue over anything.
FREE SPEECH. I know.
TRUTH. Then take care please, Free Speech! Go with good omens and return soon.
PORPHYRIUS. If what you say is true, Dromo, today we shall succeed beautifully.
DROMO. My words are very true, Porphyrius.
PORPHYRIUS. Has the letter so much authority?
DROMO. It has. It is scarcely possible to express fully in words with what great reverence they accepted it.
PORPHYRIUS. Good. So may Satan love me.
DROMO. With what bent heads they also worship from afar.
PORPHYRIUS. Wonderful, Dromo, how obediently they act!
DROMO. Even if the most holy Father had ordered them to strangle their well-loved parents, they send that they would be ready to obey. For, when he gives orders, they hold that deeds in other respects very foul are pure righteous acts.
PORPHYRIUS. Wonderful, how true to the Gospel.
DROMO. Now they hate Caesar worse than a dog or a snake.
PORPHYRIUS. Dutifully.
DROMO. They rouse up huge mobs.
PORPHYRIUS. Conscientiously.
DROMO. Everyone aspires to the glories of Caesar.
PORPHYRIUS. Magnificently done. Then he who would prosper let him excite Pammachius. I do not doubt that the prize for this achievement will be given to me. I have stirred up all things from their bottommost depths. Now come here, Dromo. Carry this throne and lift up the ornament. I will bear the crown that we may go hurriedly to the Father.
DROMO. I am tired by running such a long way to all states and provinces, and yet I do not seem to you to have done enough, unless you order something else when I am scarcely breathing; you of course bid me to bear these burdens, which no ass would bear whether born in Sabine Rentine or Arcady or Cappadocia. He who pays the piper calls the tune.
PORPHYRIUS. I love you, Dromo. Don't refuse to do anything today. Don't you see that all our plans are succeeding. In harvest time you must reap and stop amid the winter storms. He who neglects an opportunity, will never achieve his goal. Therefore, Dromo, be alert today. After this, if you like, snore for a whole year.
DROMO. It must be done for the prince I serve and not for you. PORPHYRIUS. I don't care. So long as you do it.
DROMO. Phew. Atlas scarcely holds up such a weight of sky. Give me a staff that I may hold myself up a little.
PORPHYRIUS. Take it. I will go first. You follow. Hello, Free Speech, where are you going all alone?
FREE SPEECH. There, where the crowds are as large as possible and the news most plentiful.
PORPHYRIUS. Then come with us, Free Speech.
FREE SPEECH. Where are you carrying these things?
PORPHYRIUS. To Rome.
FREE SPEECH. What is going on there?
PORPHYRIUS. Hem. You don't know?
FREE SPEECH. I've been away for some time. But tell me, please.
PORPHYRIUS. To speak very briefly: There is sport for the world. There also are the fickle ladies found among all crowds.
FREE SPEECH. Right. I will go there, and with you, if it is not too much trouble for you. It is not fitting for a woman to walk alone.
PORPHYRIUS. Come then.
PAMMACHIUS, PORPHYRIUS, FREE SPEECH
PAMMACHIUS. It took you nearly a year to return.
PORPHYRIUS. Hail, Pammachius, most holy Father, do not be angry. The matters of business are not completed as fast as they are ordered. There is something at which you may rejoice; the business has ended well according to your desires. I deserve the gift of a statue, Father. So many great projects I have finished by my craft in a short time.
FREE SPEECH. You will not be tricked out of your worthy rewards.
PORPHYRIUS. Dromo, lay your burdens down here at the gates of the temple and go wherever you like.
PAMMACHIUS. Why do you bring this woman with you? What does she want?
PORPHYRIUS. She is Free Speech. She has come to look at the new things and also at your magnificence.
PAMMACHIUS. Right. But I advise her not to be troublesome. I have known the character of Free Speech before this. She is wont to argue harshly against whatever displeases her. Can you keep silence, woman?
FREE SPEECH. Very well. I will go into this corner and put my finger to my mouth.
PAMMACHIUS. So be it done. You may see, you may hear, you may not dispute.
FREE SPEECH. Surely this is not the realm of Satan?
PAMMACHIUS. What's that?
FREE SPEECH. Nothing at all. But I was clearing my throat.
PAMMACHIUS. Woman, if you offer a word, beware. You, Porphyrius, set up my throne and set aside those benches; drape the walls in purple, surround the whole assembly chamber with tapestries, cover the floor with carpets; over my head let the coverlet, woven with gold, hang; and then bring to us the sacred books.
PORPHYRIUS. They are here, and the throne has been made ready for you in the Persian way.
PAMMACHIUS. Bring the curtains and extend them, that I may be dressed. Give me the triple crown and place it on my head.
PORPHYRIUS. So, by heaven, you would yield to no one in majesty, and, Father, the very sight of you would move even rocks and asses to worship and faith. And now clearly the ox is on the silver tablet.
PAMMACHIUS. Hem, what did you say?
PORPHYRIUS. What? Oh, you should walk on silver tablets.
PAMMACHIUS. I deserve that.
PORPHYRIUS. O, no one deserves it more.
PAMMACHIUS. Roll back the curtains now, that all may be able to see me and know that I am the supreme governor of all things, who takes the place of Christ on earth, in whose hand also there always rests the power to give kingdoms and to take them away.
PORPHYRIUS. Immortal God, what a multitude of people have gathered so quickly to see this sight.
PAMMACHIUS. Good. I should not want to be so adorned, unless I were to be seen by a very great multitude of mortals.
PORPHYRIUS. Do you want me to suggest to the people what honours are fitting for you?
PAMMACHIUS. Right away. Tell them what I have ordered, one by one.
PORPHYRIUS. I will do so, but just as you remind me.
PAMMACHIUS. You will not be lost to me.
NESTOR. Emperor, I've never finished any other journey with a more troubled heart than this one. And if it were my business that was being done, I'd sooner dig in the mines than ask for favour from such an unworthy person.
JULIAN. You speak bravely but not prudently enough. It is not always appropriate, Nestor, to do what we wish, but we must accept what the times and human affairs bring.
NESTOR. You will see into what evil you have thrown yourself.
JULIAN. You prophesy well. Salvation is in other ways bad. But what does this crowd want?
NESTOR. What? Alas, what new scheme is this? Pammachius dressed in royal purple?
JULIAN. Where is he?
NESTOR. Ah, do you not see that fleshy idol holding your sceptre?
JULIAN. O, evil worse than Lemnia, he is being worshipped by all the people.
NESTOR. O, foolish people! how you always are intent on outward show. I tell you, he is the one you were despising.
JULIAN. And he is wearing the triple diadem.
NESTOR. Rightly. For he rules over Africa, Asia and Europe. Come now. He will pluck your beard beautifully.
JULIAN. We are forced into a narrow space. But let us approach nearer that we may listen to what he is going to proclaim.
PAMMACHIUS. Open the books, Porphyrius, so that greater authority may be given to what is to be said. For whatsoever you say, men will think it has sprung from the sacred books.
PORPHYRIUS. How beautifully wise you are! Listen, all you people, and be silent.
JULIAN. Listen, Nestor.
NESTOR. I've both ears pricked up.
PORPHYRIUS. In order that you may know what these rites mean and whether they are done justly or unjustly, lest perchance anyone, ignorant of the circumstances, should think otherwise about the apostolic power than that it is appropriate; it strongly throws down heretical depravity and cuts the putrid limb from the church--therefore all pay attention to what I shall say. Christ Jesus, our Lord, gave to Peter the great power of freeing and binding, so that those things ratified on earth may also be ratified in heaven. Now Peter was the first to rule the Roman church and to transfer that power from all parts of the world to Rome, so that forever Rome could be the ruler and the head of all the churches. Not so much was granted to any churches as to the Roman church and the successors of Peter.
It is very beneficial for believers to know this, lest perchance they might wish to set up another head and so provoke the indignation of Peter and soon go wrong in the first beginnings of their faith. For what will mortals believe, if they do not know what must be believed most of all before all others? Or whom shall they follow, if they do not know him who can lead everyone without error? Or what will they know for sure, unless they learn from him who fills all things from the channel of certitude? Therefore a Christian should learn to obey with all his heart the Roman bishop from whom flow all doctrine and faith, to whom have been entrusted the sheep of Christ for feeding, to whom have been handed the keys of the kingdom of heaven, who also is the universal father of all races and their wise man, patriarch and bishop, without whom no one can possess salvation.
But that you may prove that this is true, not only is it certain from the many testimonies of the scriptures, which, if I were willing to recite them to you, this day would not be long enough, but also from this it can be known because God has adorned your bishop as he is seen in your presence, with all the gold and talents of Tantalus and with the shining glory of Solomon, so that he may by his authority be powerful not only ahead of the other bishops of the whole world but also may surpass all kings in his possessions. He has such an abundance of gold and silver and purple and silk and jewels, that he can now rightly be called not king nor Caesar nor primate nor bishop but an earthly god. Nay, also, he holds first place without any argument among the gods of the fields and woods. Whence nothing can be collected as splendid or as holy, in things profane or in the faith, which the glory and sanctity of this ruler does not eclipse.
And thus the creator of all things in human affairs has created nothing more holy or more worthy, nothing higher or more splendid, nothing better or more blessed than the Roman high priest. For what is there that he is or says or does which someone will not judge worthy of wonder? Hence let him keep Satan angry and hell open since he after this has taken for himself this name and let him alone have it, since to him alone has been given the authority of satisfaction and absolution and by the keys of heaven he has been raised above all the other bishops. Then him worship, him obey in all things, to him listen and to him alone turn your eyes. From him, if you still lack some faith, learn. He hears Christ, who hears him, and his decrees must be considered divine oracles from the sanctuary.
It has been my pleasure to say these words, so that to all who wish to be Christians it may be as well known as possible that they have a great and outstanding leader in this world. Now learn the chapters and articles of the faith. First of all, I give out to all of you, that each of you should be aware of heretical sin and, if anyone is now under its sway, he should do penance by worthy works, lest he perish eternally.
So that this problem may be recognized by you, I tell you that heresy usually happens in three ways. And first indeed, when someone says that the Pope is not the head of the church; secondly, if anyone forms impious views to the disadvantage of the Roman throne. Lastly, if anyone has dared to propose something by interpreting the sacred scriptures differently than has been permitted by the Roman court. For not everything is to be believed in every gospel and in all the scriptures, and there is no authority unless these scriptures have first been approved by the vote of the Pope.
If any of you have by chance fallen into any of these heresies, either by error of judgement or persuaded by malice, let him know that he is to be burned by the fires of heaven and of earth, that he is alienated even from the thanks of Satan and that by his very act he has lost the indulgences of Rome. Hence again and again beware lest you lose your souls through sinful dogma, but in these matters let your study be the practices which I shall now propose to you one by one.
Follow these articles of faith from the bottom of your hearts. These rules are not to be scorned in any way. Store them up. First with relation to faith, you should all learn the creed which they call by the name of the Apostles' Creed. In it there is no need for anyone to be rather curious and to wish to weigh the articles of faith exactly. For the curious minds of men easily go wrong and they think they know what they are most ignorant in. It is enough for you to know the words. Leave the sense to the bishops and to us the learned scholars, who must analyse the faith, so that we may be able to explore the divine mysteries more deeply.
Secondly, because by the disobedience of our first father, Adam, all men have sinned, so that no one among men could enter the kingdom of heaven, God in pity for us sent his son, who should make satisfaction for the sin of our origin and thus we have been redeemed from that sin, so that, after Christ, the road to heaven is open to all.
Thirdly, because also we busy ourselves with other sins and do not resist the sins of the flesh sufficiently, our Saviour, when returning from this world to his Father, left seven sacraments for believers, which confer on the one who undertakes them, after the proper rites have been performed, remission of sins before God.
Fourthly, since faith alone can in no way absolve anyone of guilt and since the sins of mortals are infinite, God has given us free will, through which his grace can be obtained and the Ten Commandments can be perfectly fulfilled. Act in that way as far as in you lies. Then God will not deny his grace to any one of you.
Fifthly, in the sacraments it is right for you to know what order, form and end must be observed. For since Christ left the earth hurriedly, he alone could not think through all the things which pertain to salvation or to propriety; he left many things to be decided by Peter and Peter's successors and to be changed and to be removed when the keys of the heavens had been handed over, so that those things had to be undertaken, as if they had been handed down by God. Therefore to give baptism with the words of Christ without any of the rites of the Roman See which have been added to them would be ridiculous and altogether a tale without a head. For devils are not driven out merely by the words; there is need of salt and episcopal oil, which all devils miraculously fear. Nor can plain water or any sort of water be used, but only that which has been prepared by magnificent ceremonies, so that those sacred rites do not stand firm when these rituals have not been purchased.
Sixthly, because Christ set up his feast under a double form, I mean that of the body and of the blood, and did not notice that there should be a difference between the laity and the priests and that the blood could not be shed by the ignorant multitude, we decreed that the second kind should be denied to the people and that they should leave contented with one kind. The anointed priests would rejoice in both so long as they were the only consecrators of the sacred things. Nevertheless, if they joined with the people and did not complete the divine mysteries through themselves or were hindered by illness or any other thing, they should abstain from the chalice with the people. For it is certain that within the form of the bread the blood also is contained. Then the names communion or the Lord's Supper no longer please. It is to be called the sacrifice or the mass, which obtains for the dead and the living, if all things are done according to the proper rites, the remission of sins from God. But the mass is not to be used for this purpose alone; it brings help to the pregnant, to travellers, hunters, and businessmen, to those getting married, those sailing on the sea and being overwhelmed by tempests. Nothing troublesome ever emerges, which the mass cannot remove.
Seventhly, because such weakness hold us men that we all sin in many ways and so the burden of our sins is always growing, salvation does not rest only in the name of Christ, and remission of sins does not rest on faith alone, I will tell you of very many antidotes, among which the mass holds the principal place, by which all sins, believe me, can be pardoned.
First of all, in return for money the Roman Pope will give you great indulgences, by which you may be able to pay for your great sins and prepare a large amount of grace for a little money not only in this life but also you can be completely restored and kept safe from the fires of purgatory.
Nay, by your good works you may always win grace and pardon from sins. By fasting, vigils and sleeping on the ground, by sufferings and speeches, by alms and flagellations the door of the kingdom of heaven has always been opened. Each person must help the churches according to his abilities, so that the priests may be fed by the rich. The priests will pray for you, they will be able to turn aside God's grave anger against you, for they can more easily give satisfaction for your sins because they are nearer to God. For the Roman Father will produce for you from the shrine of his heart a most beautiful progeny, a thousand forms and a hundred orders of monks, who by the chasteness and sanctity of their lives, by their wonderful religion and obedience and by their quite unbearable poverty will provide an inexhaustible treasure for the deserving and will do far more than God ordered. Hence not only will they win the favour of God for themselves for their worthy and fitting lives, but also what is left over will fall to the advantage of others. To them therefore hurry to buy what they have earned by their merits.
Whosoever, then, led by the Holy Spirit, shall join the company of these men, shall soon know that he has obtained a pardon for all his sins, no less than if he had accepted the rite of baptism or had been washed clean by the blood of Christ. To have a shaven head and to be covered by a simple robe and to make faith in human institutions purposeless pleases the supreme Heavenly Father greatly. Besides that, it is not enough for you to have business with the living alone, unless you also hope to obtain help and favour from the holy dead. They indeed, long since freed from the body, are able to be mediators for you as they eagerly adore the face of God and can always commend you to God with their very great approbation. Further, when you have sinned you should turn to them with a sum of money; worship them with holy days and with fastings; call on them, adore them and value the name of each of them very greatly as through them expiation for your sins has come to each of you and has been arranged by God. Build altars to them; make sacrifices and consecrate temples in their name; treat the statues and images of them with honour, so that they may pay greater care to you who, they sense, are so occupied in honouring them.
But most of all learn to pay observance to Mary, to whom her son can deny nothing. Fix your eyes on her and place all your confidence in her; have her as your hope in every danger as your port and sacred anchor. Let her be your life; let her be your greatest delight; let her be your helper and your one advocate; shout to her with stentorian voices; sigh to her with devoted hearts; pour your souls into her bosom, since she should be your chief occupation.
It is also very important to know that the divine saints are not willing to grant that grace in any place you like but add their miraculous power only to certain places, especially to those in which their bones lie. To these places speed your journey from the remote parts of the world even at great expense, that you may gain remission of your sins and for your great deserts may be allowed to climb to heaven.
A great power to absolve guilt is also afterwards placed more or less in money. For by it all sins are blotted out. If money is given, the wicked man is soon absolved of his guilt; if money is given, all rules give way; by a gift of money, each person may do what he wants; if money is given, the grace of God is obtained; if money is given, merit and good works are bought; if money is given, it is possible to escape hell; if money is given, the fires of hell fly away; if money is given, marriages are annulled; if money is given, a brother may marry his sister. If money is given, it is right to kill one's parents. If money is given, the keeping of vows may be abolished. Therefore turn your minds on money! And it makes no difference how in the end it is acquired.
NESTOR. Why does this meeting satisfy you, Caesar?
JULIAN. Be quiet.
FREE SPEECH. May God destroy you and your doctrines.
PORPHYRIUS. What are you yelping, woman? Unless you keep quiet, your face and head will soon be cudgelled with clubs.
PAMMACHIUS. Why have you brought this chattering woman to disturb our best assemblies?
PORPHYRIUS. I tell you, woman, if I hear you again, I'll ...
JULIAN. Do you hear, no word is spoken here without danger.
PORPHYRIUS. And it makes no difference, I say, how the money is acquired. Without it the Roman Curia has no strength. For from the disadvantages of other mortals it usually prepares its own advantages, that the salvation may turn out well.
NESTOR. Immortal God, what do you think?
JULIAN. Quiet, please.
PORPHYRIUS. The Roman Pontiff, besides, has decided that, for the pardon of sins, on Friday and on some other forty days and nights and at any special part of the year and on the eves of many festivals, those who wish to enjoy the grace of Rome should abstain from milk and meat and eggs in strict observance. Certainly, to have stolen four horses and to have killed a man can easily be redeemed; but just as it is the gravest sin at a forbidden time to eat cheese or an egg or chicken or any meat, so it also can be atoned for only with the greatest difficulty. Therefore the doctrines of the Roman Pontiff must be far preferred to the Laws of Moses. For what are Moses and the Prophets and the Apostles, unless the Vicar of Christ shall have approved of them? Also there must be secret confession and first contrition and then satisfaction, and against sins special antidotes to which without any doubt the greatest sins yield.
FREE SPEECH. No word of Christ.
PORPHYRIUS. Hem, you speak the name of Christ? Take care, I say, woman, that hereafter you do not speak the name of Christ. Why do I say much to you? If you speak a word more ... In some troubles, however, this must be noted, that the absolution of anyone is not valid, unless the episcopal power is consulted and the Lord of the Keys himself is petitioned. Besides, if anyone at the instigation of the devil has indulged in wicked acts, theft, pillage and whoring, let him come as soon as possible to church and wash himself with some drops of holy water and eat some of the salt that has been blessed, an effective remedy against sins and an instant poison for the devil. Thus by very little effort sins can be washed away.
Lastly, if anyone all his life has so devoted himself to sins that he has filled out every category, and now death calls him and his soul fears the danger, let the poor wretch not worry himself in any way nor despair. For there is a way by which the souls even of the damned may be given counsel and dragged back from the very jaws of hell. First let him buy the diploma of the Pope and try the great power of the keys. Then let him buy the grace of the monks, whom I shall create, so that they may exchange their good works for his sins; they will of course take up his sins and against them decorate him with their good works. For there is no doubt that such an exchange is counted valid by the supreme judge. No danger is to be feared by the monks even from the greatest sins. For Satan has no dealings with them on account of their robes. Let a great number of masses be bought, and also let the power of the psalms accompany his soul. The dying man may also be sprinkled with many ashes and with holy water to ward off the devils and then be covered with a Franciscan habit, the form of which you will see a little later, and he may be carried in a long procession. Nay, also, funeral dirges are to be set up much before this and bells rung and the washing of souls is to be held. By these deeds no one need ever despair of salvation, by these deeds Satan mourns and the angels rejoice, by these deeds the heights and the depths are moved in order to unite with the sinner for his good.
You may also fashion for yourselves other ways of expiating sins. Rosaries of prayers, amulets, exorcisms and many others, so that there may be no chance of perishing in sin. You will easily be able to resist sins by the perceived strength of your free will, by which all these things which I have mentioned can be accomplished. Simply obey the bishop of Rome; accept his doctrines with such faith that if even an angel from heaven should teach something else, it should be hateful and an abomination to you. By this way the gate of heaven will always be open to you; indulgences will always be ready for you; the Father will always hold you in the shrine of his heart and his blessing shall never desert you.
These are the facts Christians should know, so that they may understand that they have a head and a bishop to whom no one is equal in teaching or in name. Certainly he is the sole architect of the sacred rites, the creator of faith and the director of religious rites. For which reasons he has been adorned with the triple diadem and clothed in gold, silver and purple, so that, as if he were the sun, he may illuminate all the churches.
FREE SPEECH. Ha, ha, ha. What elegant illumination.
PORPHYRIUS. Do you laugh and yelp at all these matters,
woman? Heretical malice is troubling you.
PAMMACHIUS. Why do you not drag away this woman by her hair, Porphyrius, and put your fists in her face?
FREE SPEECH. Most Holy Father, give pardon to my loquacity, I beg you. I shall be more mute than a fish. Dear Porphyrius, spare me, I pray. If I say anything after this, let me be killed.
PAMMACHIUS. If you cheat me, as you have cheated me up to now, by your action, the same sentence will fall on you. Dismiss her, Porphyrius! Take care that you do not grunt anything like a pig.
FREE SPEECH. Do so, I ask you, most holy fathers.
PORPHYRIUS. Father, the foundations of your rule have now been established by me, as you ordered. Now you may build what you like. I don't think there is anyone who won't obey you.
PAMMACHIUS. Splendid. I shall create some new creatures, so as not to leave creating to God alone. Let the cardinals of my kingdom come forth.
PORPHYRIUS. My, what's that? They have arisen and so quickly. This is divine power. All things obey your word.
PAMMACHIUS. Let my doctrine produce orders of monks, shorn and unshorn, the dust-coloured and white and those of mixed colours, the poor and the rich, the girdled and ungirdled, those wearing leather, wool and linen, Epicureans and Stoics.
PORPHYRIUS. By God, he's created a new race of frogs which, as I see, is delighted by wine and not by water.
PAMMACHIUS. Let my doctrine bring forth noble canons who may teach the Roman faith to the dogs and the horses.
PORPHYRIUS. Here they are. O, how fat they are and what swollen bellies!
PAMMACHIUS. Let temples be built at great cost, and let monasteries and chapels be built, using an abundance of gold and silver, in every nook, field, home, castle, city.
PORPHYRIUS. I see these things done. O immortal God, I should never have thought that the power of money was so great among men that it could found such splendid and such sumptuous buildings. No other doctrines would have brought about these changes which your doctrine and your word have brought about to such an extent.
PAMMACHIUS. Let the relics of the Saints be dug up; let them be honoured with kisses and covered with shining jewels.
PORPHYRIUS. It is done. You are certainly some god when you can do everything thus by your word, when men are thus ready for those things you order.
PAMMACHIUS. Let statues be set up for the saints; let their likenesses be painted; let their souls appear; let there be miracles.
PORPHYRIUS. Cease, I beseech you, and rest on the seventh day. Satan will surely marvel at these creations. For I know for certain that he could not fashion them, although he is a wise and ancient artificer.
PAMMACHIUS. I should like Satan to be here to see them. Let Dromo run and call him.
PORPHYRIUS. Run, Dromo. You ought to have said this when the people were not listening, Father.
PAMMACHIUS. I know not for joy where I am when I see my new creations. Too much joy is offensive.
PORPHYRIUS. Nevertheless, Father, you have forgotten one thing in your creating.
PAMMACHIUS. What's that?
PORPHYRIUS. What? You have not created an emperor.
NESTOR. Hem. He names the emperor.
JULIAN. Let's go near. I am scarcely in my right mind as I see and hear such things.
PAMMACHIUS. You advise correctly. I will create an emperor.
PORPHYRIUS. It is not right for the Creator to create anything new beyond six days.
PAMMACHIUS. What am I to do then?
PORPHYRIUS. Promote those that have been created. From the princes appoint someone emperor. There are many who would seek the emperor's glories.
NESTOR. You hear that?
JULIAN. I hear it. Hurry to approach. Push aside with your elbow those standing in the way.
PAMMACHIUS. Call him whom I am to create emperor.
PORPHYRIUS. Listen in silence. You know that the emperor of yesterday has been thrust down to hell by divine authority. Therefore if any of you seeks to gain the emperor's place, let him come forward and kiss the shoes of the Pope. Many are coming forward, as I said.
NESTOR. Listen, Porphyrius. May we say a few words to the Father?
PORPHYRIUS. I do not know, but I will find out. The emperor is present and desires an audience with you, Father.
PAMMACHIUS. Let him go away. I will not listen to him.
PORPHYRIUS. Ah, Father, you should not act thus.
PAMMACHIUS. He smells of sulphur and of Jove's thunderbolt.
PORPHYRIUS. Listen to him to this extent. If he says undesirable things, the decrees remain. Perhaps he will do what you wish. The bow can be stretched as far as you like, I suppose.
PAMMACHIUS. You've persuaded me.
PORPHYRIUS. I have gained his permission with difficulty. Approach.
NESTOR. Most blessed Father.
JULIAN. Speak with the most soothing words.
NESTOR. This day shows into what a great evil the argument has developed which recently took place between you about some concessions that had to be made to the Roman church and which (as it was then Caesar's opinion) Caesar refused to concede even though you pressed for them. For while the emperor wished to defend a few prerogatives he did not see what the episcopal power was and so with you as judge he has lost his whole empire. Not only has he lost his empire but also, what is worse, he has been deprived of all the Roman grace, has also been barred from the company of Christians and also sentenced to the eternal fires. And perhaps justly (for why should I argue that?) because at that time he put both the emperor and us to flight. For if he had known (why is there need of words?), he would in no way have opposed such fair requests. This, Father, you can understand from his other actions, in which his kindness towards you and, in my opinion, his courteousness have been clear to all.
He was too harsh and erred greatly in making the earthly Vicar of Christ angry and in not agreeing to the apostolic efforts. He confesses what he did, he repents that he did it, and he does not think that the sin is so great that he should be subjected to such a horrible sentence; he thinks that it can be withdrawn. For who of men is there who does not sin, who does not stumble. To sin is born with mortals from the very womb. The good, however, grow wise through penitence, although the rest perish in their sins. Therefore, most blessed Father, the emperor has also come here as a suppliant seeking remission of his sins from you and submitting himself totally to you, so that you may retract your decree and allow him to remain in his former rank, into which he has no doubt that he was set by God. And if ever he gave any favour to you, if he helped the Church of God in any way, he calls to mind that service. For there is a good hope that you will not be too harsh and that the clemency he himself gave to Christians will not be barred to himself.
PAMMACHIUS. Reply, Porphyrius, as our Papal honour requires.
PORPHYRIUS. The Roman Pope not only rules over all ecclesi astical ranks but he was created by God to be the head of all princes and kings lest they sin. For what is there that the power of the keys does not possess? Is he, who can close heaven even with a word, not to close provinces likewise to princes? Or is he to whom has been entrusted the care of things spiritual not likewise to make decisions about things of the flesh? Therefore because the emperor had the audacity to strive against this authority of the keys and did not show the reverence owed to his Father in God, he fell into an heretical weakness in other respects and was thrown down from his empire by the heavenly thunderbolt. It is certainly unworthy that he who does not honour the leader of all Christians should rule over Christians. He was deposed. Now that he has been deprived of his office let him think and learn about the bishops whom he despised in his empire. Let him give way to a more worthy man who may know how to lay himself and all his possessions at the feet of the Pope.
NESTOR. What do we do now?
JULIAN. Press on again and again, that you may gain our request. Tell him I will do all the things he has ordered.
NESTOR. Most blessed Father, do not turn aside your suppliants in any way. For God does not usually do that. He receives sinners who have converted themselves and he says that the angels rejoice about the converted. Since therefore you hold the office of vice regent, do not be unyielding in giving pardon. Show yourself to all as the sort of judge which you would want God to be if you were to sin. If up to now Caesar has neglected anything, now by his own immediate danger he has learned enough of a lesson. Hereafter he will know better the way of dealing with all bishops and especially with the Bishop of Rome. Hereafter he will never rashly move to Camarina. Nay, he is now ready to carry out all your orders; it is not yet fully resolved that anyone else would do this for you. For a new emperor can be appointed who would worry you very much for his own benefit.
PAMMACHIUS. Come here, Porphyrius. I think I must do what he asks. Nevertheless under those conditions which you know. Propose them to him one by one, then let him under oath pledge that he will forever keep my laws.
PORPHYRIUS. Listen, Caesar. The most holy Father in Christ deigns to listen to your prayers of supplication for many reasons, although your unbridled arrogance had deserved something else. For he could create Caesars from these stones, and overthrow the seat of your empire from east to west and from south to north. However, that you may understand how worthy he is to be God's vice regent on earth and how he emulates God by his mercy, he gives pardon to your sins and calls you back from hell, if you persuade your mind to obey the terms which you shall hear.
NESTOR. Propose the terms; he will without any doubt obey them. Unless, Caesar, you want something different.
JULIAN. Not at all. Obedience will be given.
PORPHYRIUS. The sins you have committed, Caesar, can in no way be forgiven unless you prostrate yourself prone on the ground here, so that the Father may know that you are clearly humbled.
NESTOR. Look, the beginning is as I told you.
JULIAN. What else am I to do when forced into a narrow space? I cannot refuse.
PAMMACHIUS. "You shall walk over the serpent and the basilisk and shall trample on the lion and the dragon."
JULIAN. I do not pay this honour to you but to Peter.
PAMMACHIUS. Both to me and to Peter.
FREE SPEECH. Bah, wicked men. They step with their feet on the greatest ruler of the world. May God exterminate you as a sacrifice, as you mock men and God.
PAMMACHIUS. Fine this woman heavily and throw her out immediately with dung or, if you prefer, mud rubbed on her face.
FREE SPEECH. Are you really sending me away, you villain, while you are carrying out your villanies? Alas, he is also beating me and rubbing my face in the mud. Alas, traitor, scoundrel, sycophant, murderer.
PORPHYRIUS. Go to hell, you Wycliffite heretic.
FREE SPEECH. One day, you villain, you shall pay the penalty for this, unless justice before God has perished utterly.
PORPHYRIUS. Now, Caesar, receive the terms of peace. You believe that the Pope is the supreme head of the Church? Say, "I believe."
JULIAN. I believe it.
PORPHYRIUS. You believe that the Pope's decrees have the force of a divine word and that he can err in nothing?
JULIAN. I believe.
PORPHYRIUS. You believe that the Pope is above senates and councils and cannot be judged or condemned by any mortal?
JULIAN. I believe.
PORPHYRIUS. You believe that the Pope is the heir of your empire and that the emperor has no power without the Pope's vote? Say, "I believe."
JULIAN. I believe.
PORPHYRIUS. From these statements the Father now knows that you are orthodox and have not been infected by any heresy. Are you therefore willing to obey his dogmas? Say, "I am willing."
JULIAN. I am willing.
PORPHYRIUS. Are you willing to give back the region of Tuscany and the Patrimony of Peter and to defend them, if any king or prince attacks them?
JULIAN. I am willing.
PORPHYRIUS. Are you willing to concede to the Pope the dominion over Rome, as the gift of Constantine demands, and not to come to Rome unless summoned and, when dismissed, not to stay long here either in a house or in another city?
JULIAN. I am willing.
PORPHYRIUS. Are you willing to cede altogether to the Pope and the other bishops the affairs of the church, the investitures of bishops, archbishops, abbots and prelates and other ecclesiastical business?
JULIAN. I am willing.
PORPHYRIUS. Are you willing to recognize the Pope as the Lord of you and yours? Say, "I am willing."
JULIAN. I am willing.
PORPHYRIUS. Are you willing to wipe out the enemies of the church and heretics with all your might and to outlaw them from your whole kingdom?
JULIAN. I am willing.
PORPHYRIUS. Are you willing not to have any conventions of princes unless the papal legate is present?
JULIAN. I am willing.
PORPHYRIUS. Are you willing to conclude or order nothing in the affairs of the empire until it is approved by the supreme hand of the Pope?
JULIAN. I am willing.
PORPHYRIUS. These are the main points, Caesar, for which the most holy Father will give you pardon for your sins and by his grace restore you to your former position. If therefore you agree to them and there is no feigning, swear an oath that you confirm your faith in them so that the Father may never repent of giving his grace.
NESTOR. He who has eaten the horse up to its horseshoes, can easily eat all that iron.
JULIAN. These are the terms of peace written above, as they have been read out; I swear to you, the Pope, by the Father, Son and Holy Spirit that I agree to them strongly with all my heart and will most strongly carry out all of them.
PORPHYRIUS. Approach now and kiss the Father's shoes: this is a sign of grace to all kings, and they must all deservedly rejoice if they with one little finger could touch such holiness.
PAMMACHIUS. Now, my son, be mindful of your oath and hereafter obey our orders.
JULIAN. I will indeed take great care, Father.
PAMMACHIUS. Go away now to your own people. Soon I will send these agreements in writing to all the princes and their subjects, that they may understand that you are emperor and know that my former letter is void.
JULIAN. Right. Goodby then.
PAMMACHIUS. Go with happiness.
JULIAN. To you, Porphyrius, I give thanks for your efforts and I shall willingly do well for you.
NESTOR. O, may you hang on the cross!
PORPHYRIUS. Indeed, Caesar, there is no need to give thanks. As usual I am glad to pay attention to your advantages.
JULIAN. Come on, Nestor.
NESTOR. May this day be rolled in perpetual darkness. It has given all these hated things. It has made us hear impious words and see fearful sights. Slaves are now masters, but the most royal blood has been seen as the footstool of a slavish head. That I feared before, Caesar. Woe is me! Why in the meantime did I not live in the jaws of hell, so as not to be a witness and a spectator at this unheard of fable? The power has descended, as the story goes, from the horses to the asses.
JULIAN. That is enough, Nestor. Be quiet. Even this crime shall fall into the black depths. Time has brought all things, is bringing them and will carry them away.
PORPHYRIUS. I am certainly a fine fellow. They thank me properly for inflicting on them a great injury.
PAMMACHIUS. Perhaps it has been granted to you with very many others to win gratitude from friends and enemies.
PORPHYRIUS. So I think. But do you see to what heights you have been carried by my efforts? I have procured Satan's favour for you and have made your powers acceptable and by my plans have helped myself in no way but, seeking everything for you, I have put Caesar under your feet; through me you have gained all the things most dear to you, so that you have the greatest name among the great. What rewards will you give me for such great toil?
PAMMACHIUS. Quite enough if the opportunity offers. You may now be the first of the cardinals. The Bishopric of Venus and whatever pleases your heart shall be granted you by me and Delia shall give her favour.
SATAN. Well done, friends. Nothing before the time of my incarceration succeeded better, and before this you and I were never able to achieve such success. But Dromo reports that Pammachius has also done heroic deeds.
DROMO. I believe so.
SATAN. Let's go to him to scout out the whole situation.
PLANUS. All of you follow us.
PORPHYRIUS. Hunting pleases me, Father. There are usually fat wild creatures in Germany. There I will first of all set snares for them.
PAMMACHIUS. Fine; if you like, you may be my personal representative in Germany.
PORPHYRIUS. I shall be happy if you give me at the same time indulgences of great weight. It is remarkable how that idle people is delighted by indulgences and constantly seeks them.
PAMMACHIUS. Take with you a wagon loaded with them. It is good, if they want those things in which the Roman Curia abounds. Thus will be a new hunt. But look, Satan is coming in. There is nothing I'd rather have now.
SATAN. Pammachius, you've certainly done magnificently. But who are holding the principalities for you?
PAMMACHIUS. All things submit to my will, my lord.
SATAN. I'm glad. No one is resisting you?
PAMMACHIUS. Let anyone dare.
SATAN. Splendid indeed. But by the earth and the swamps of Hell, who is the creator of this creation?
PAMMACHIUS. I am.
SATAN. You?
PAMMACHIUS. I am, I tell you.
SATAN. I'm not being deceived, Porphyrius?
PORPHYRIUS. Not at all, my lord. You possess this godlike man. And you would know this more, if you had been present at all the events. Everything has been done according to his order.
SATAN. What are you saying? Is it true, Pammachius?
PAMMACHIUS. Very true. I have this great power and I am accustomed to using it thus.
SATAN. My word! Dromo told me scarcely a tenth part. So all things smile on me and are pure miracles. But tell me, for whose sake did you create these miracles? I am so delighted by the sight of them. Tell me, please, about each of them one by one, what use they have.
PAMMACHIUS. These, my lord, are the cardinals of our kingdom, made for this purpose, that they may serve you as I do, take thought for what is in your interest, plunder the provinces, keep your decrees perpetually. And if any pope after me wished to secede from you, they would prevent him, resist him, refute him and always strike him down with prepared poisons.
SATAN. A necessary piece of work!
PAMMACHIUS. The tonsured ones you see dressed in different kinds of feathers seem indeed to be a humble race, but they have the greatest force and power in promoting your kingdom. I have made them for a scandal to all men so that they may mock the world with their feigned rites and the sale of benefits may be held by them; that they themselves may scorn Christ and teach others to scorn him; and that they may be extremely arrogant about their strength and be the sacred anchor of my papacy and scavengers to sweep in booty from all sides.
SATAN. Ha, ha, ha. I could not have created anything better myself.
PAMMACHIUS. Why should I refer to my achievements one by one? Relics, temples, statues, those canons with their inverted leather garments, images, the ghosts of souls, monasteries, miracles and all the other ideas my doctrines have produced, they act so that the glory of Christ may be hidden, so that mortals may strive to climb to heaven by other routes, and so that a too healthy teaching may be destroyed.
SATAN. You think up these things splendidly ahead of the rest.
PAMMACHIUS. And you should not be at all worried about the whole faith and the way in which the people may give obedience to you according to your word. Believe that it has been done, if the end corresponds to the beginning.
SATAN. I admire your power which I see in these areas, Pammachius, and I do not fear that you will be worse, but I expect you will be more industrious, in response to my kindnesses. I see that these efforts are enough to crush the favour of Christ. But what do you say of Caesar?
PAMMACHIUS. My lord, I have trodden on his neck with these shoes, and a short time before you arrived he swore to uphold my decrees.
SATAN. O, then we are safe on every side. For also in Asia my leaders have worked things out well.
PAMMACHIUS. Really? How, I ask. Scarcely more felicitously than I have done?
SATAN. Felicitously enough, as my leaders themselves tell me. Are the facts you told me true, Planus?
PLANUS. The event itself will prove that nothing is truer.
SATAN. Tell these gentlemen also.
PLANUS. I will tell you and I will abbreviate it. We have raised up a warrior and a prophet, by name Mahomet, who is overturning the new faith of Christ; he hates and destroys the churches, so that in Asia you'll scarcely find fifteen Christians and abso lutely no sound doctrine.
SATAN. You hear this?
PAMMACHIUS. Great, by God.
SATAN. Now, I don't repent that I was confined for some time and scarcely freed even at the end, when all these good things catch up with me. I am not complaining. Now we can sleep deeply and Christ will no longer be formidable. But collect everyone; let us triumph in victory in such important actions and build a trophy and celebrate these our great joys in a song of joy, so that the valour of everyone may be stirred to gaze on the victories won and then to produce ever greater victories.
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